How To Stay Open and Curious Even When You're Exhausted or Annoyed | Sarah Ruhl

Overview

This episode explores how to maintain openness and curiosity in life, even during challenging times. Dan Harris speaks with Sarah Ruhl, an award-winning playwright and author, about her book Lessons from My Teachers. They discuss the importance of being both a student and a teacher, the role of synchronicity, and how to navigate life's difficulties with resilience and gratitude.

Notable Quotes

- Life is pounding enough at your psyche that you don’t have a choice but to open. – Sarah Ruhl, on how challenges can foster openness.

- The point is lightness. – Dr. Mark Epstein, on the ultimate goal of both psychotherapy and meditation.

- People know where the love is. – Sarah Ruhl, reflecting on how attentiveness and care are perceived by others.

🧠 Embracing the Student Mindset

- Sarah Ruhl emphasizes the value of approaching life with curiosity and gratitude, seeing everyone and everything as potential teachers.

- She reflects on how even difficult or annoying people can teach patience and resilience, a concept rooted in Buddhist teachings.

- Ruhl shares how reflecting on past teachers, from her mother to her babysitter, deepened her appreciation for the relational aspect of learning.

👩‍🏫 Becoming a Teacher

- Ruhl discusses her transition from student to teacher, initially feeling like an imposter but eventually embracing her unique contributions.

- She highlights the importance of lineage in teaching, drawing parallels to Buddhist traditions where knowledge is passed down through generations.

- Teaching, she notes, is animated by love—whether for the subject, the students, or the act of passing on wisdom.

🔮 Synchronicity and Signs from the Universe

- Ruhl shares a story about a dream involving $2 bills that coincidentally aligned with a real-life gift from a friend, illustrating her openness to synchronicity.

- While her scientist husband often dismisses such events, Ruhl views them as meaningful and reflective of life’s interconnectedness.

- Dan Harris, initially skeptical, acknowledges a growing openness to the idea that everything is magic when viewed through the lens of cause and effect.

🧘‍♂️ The Role of Meditation Teachers

- Ruhl recounts her serendipitous encounters with Buddhist teachers, including a lama she met at a train station, and how their teachings have influenced her.

- Dan Harris discusses the varying ways people can engage with meditation teachers, from in-person relationships to virtual connections through apps or retreats.

- Both agree on the transformative power of a teacher’s presence, even in subtle, non-verbal ways.

🌟 Lessons from Adversity

- Ruhl reflects on her experience with Bell’s palsy and Lyme disease, which reshaped her identity and taught her resilience.

- She shares how illness and hardship can serve as profound teachers, offering unexpected insights and growth.

- Dr. Mark Epstein’s advice to leave an emotion alone resonates deeply with Ruhl, helping her navigate difficult feelings without overanalyzing them.