How To Handle Your Demons | Richard Schwartz

Overview

This episode explores Internal Family Systems (IFS), a psychotherapy model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. The conversation delves into how IFS helps individuals understand and make peace with the different parts of their personality, the relationship between IFS and Buddhism, practical ways to engage with IFS without a therapist, and the intriguing connection between IFS and psychedelics.

Notable Quotes

- Most of us are dominated to some degree by managers, and then we have these reactive firefighters. But they all operate in the default mode network. – Richard Schwartz, on how our internal parts function.

- If you welcome them to the party and give them a party hat, they often get quite compliant. – Dan Harris, on befriending inner demons.

- It's not about building compassion; it's about releasing the constraints that block it. – Richard Schwartz, on the essence of self-leadership.

🧠 Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS)

- IFS posits that the mind is naturally multiple, composed of various parts like managers, firefighters, and exiles.

- Managers aim to prevent emotional pain by controlling behavior (e.g., inner critics).

- Firefighters react to emotional distress with impulsive coping mechanisms (e.g., substance use).

- Exiles are vulnerable parts burdened by past trauma, often locked away to avoid overwhelming emotions.

- The Self (capital S) is a calm, compassionate essence within everyone, capable of healing and leading these parts.

🧘‍♂️ IFS and Buddhism: Reconciling Perspectives

- Schwartz aligns the Self in IFS with spiritual concepts like Buddha nature or Christ consciousness.

- While Buddhism emphasizes no-self, Schwartz interprets this as the absence of cluttered, extreme parts, allowing the Self to emerge.

- Both traditions agree on the importance of compassion and curiosity toward inner experiences.

🛠️ Practical Steps to Engage with Your Parts

- Schwartz outlines six steps: Find, Focus, Flesh out, Feel toward, Befriend, and Fear.

- Example: Identify a part (e.g., inner critic), locate its presence in your body, and engage with it compassionately.

- This process can be done as a seated meditation or integrated into daily life when triggered.

- Schwartz emphasizes the importance of not bypassing protectors to directly engage with exiles, as this can lead to emotional overwhelm.

🌌 IFS and Psychedelics

- Psychedelics like ketamine and psilocybin can quiet protective parts, allowing access to the Self and exiles.

- Schwartz uses psychedelics in controlled settings to accelerate healing but stresses the importance of obtaining permission from protective parts beforehand to avoid backlash.

- He notes that psychedelics can help unburden deep-seated fears and traumas more efficiently than traditional methods.

💖 The Definition of Love and Self-Compassion

- Schwartz and Harris discuss love as an omnidirectional force that applies both inward and outward.

- Developing compassion for one's parts (even the difficult ones) naturally extends to compassion for others.

- Schwartz critiques the work model of building compassion, advocating instead for releasing the burdens that block it.