Allison Williams On: Perfectionism, Defensiveness, and the Horror Movies We All Make in Our Minds

Overview

Allison Williams, actress and producer, delves into themes of perfectionism, defensiveness, parenting, and the complexities of self-improvement versus self-acceptance. She also discusses the evolving dynamics of friendships, particularly among men, and shares insights into her latest film, M3GAN 2.0.

Notable Quotes

- The hardest part is the information gathering. Just being able to see is the hardest part. – Allison Williams, on the challenge of self-awareness and personal growth.

- Instead of thinking of yourself as a good person or a bad person, think of yourself as good-ish. – Dan Harris, referencing a concept by NYU professor Dolly Chugh to combat defensiveness.

- Sometimes those instincts are super helpful, and that makes it a really hard thing to try to evict completely from my personality. – Allison Williams, on the double-edged sword of catastrophizing as a parent.

🌱 Self-Improvement vs. Self-Acceptance

- Williams reflects on the paradox of growth: accepting oneself as a foundation for meaningful change.

- She describes the intoxicating feeling of breaking out of negative patterns, likening it to solving a puzzle in relationships or personal habits.

- Both Williams and Harris discuss the role of shame in defensiveness, with Williams noting her strategy of openly acknowledging her urge to defend herself as a way to disarm it.

👶 Parenting and Catastrophizing

- Williams shares how her anxious tendencies manifest in parenting, such as intrusive thoughts during joyful moments with her son.

- She struggles with balancing her protective instincts with allowing her child to explore freely, noting her husband’s calmer approach as a helpful counterbalance.

- Harris relates, describing how catastrophic thoughts can hijack otherwise sweet moments, but suggests viewing them with curiosity rather than frustration.

👫 The Friendship Recession and Emotional Intimacy

- Williams discusses the friendship recession among men, highlighting how societal norms discourage emotional vulnerability.

- She contrasts male parallel bonding (e.g., watching sports) with female perpendicular bonding (e.g., face-to-face conversations).

- Her husband, Alexander Dreymon, serves as a model of healthy male friendships, blending emotional openness with traditional masculinity.

🎥 The Making of *M3GAN 2.0*

- Williams describes the technical challenges of working with an animatronic doll as the film’s star, calling the process both complex and rewarding.

- She teases the sequel as a thrilling mix of action, humor, and horror, designed to appeal to a broad audience without losing its specificity.

- The film pays homage to its diverse fanbase, including the LGBTQ+ community, and builds on the success of the original M3GAN.

💡 Aging Authentically and Letting Go of Perfectionism

- Williams reflects on her evolving relationship with perfectionism, noting how motherhood has shifted her priorities and reduced her self-scrutiny.

- She credits Gen Z’s embrace of imperfection, such as normalizing acne, for helping her care less about societal pressures.

- Harris shares his own journey of caring less about physical appearance after decades in front of the camera, calling it a massive relief.