How To Handle Constant Exhaustion (Without Blaming Yourself) | Jay Michaelson

Overview

This episode explores strategies for managing constant exhaustion without resorting to self-blame. Meditation teacher Jay Michaelson shares practical tools, from self-compassion to unconventional methods like brain machines, while addressing the societal and technological factors contributing to chronic fatigue.

Notable Quotes

- "I'm not gonna ****** let these stories that I've inherited from my culture or my family or whatever own this mind.* – *Jay Michaelson*, on the fierceness of self-compassion.
- *Imagine if you talked to other people the way you talk to yourself. They would leave.* – *Jay Michaelson*, on reframing self-compassion.
- *We should let go of this quasi-romantic self-shaming thing of, 'Oh, but it's so bad that I have to use technology to make myself feel better from technology.' Well, yeah, or you can stop using technology."* – Jay Michaelson, on embracing practical solutions in a tech-driven world.

🧘‍♀️ Self-Compassion as the First Step

- Jay Michaelson emphasizes the importance of self-compassion over self-blame, especially in a culture obsessed with optimization.

- Self-compassion is not self-pity; it’s about recognizing suffering without judgment and offering yourself the same kindness you’d extend to a friend.

- Reframing compassion as an act of bravery or fierceness can help combat internalized cultural narratives that lead to self-criticism.

🔄 Oscillating Between Acceptance and Action

- Jay introduces the concept of oscillation: balancing being present with difficult emotions and sensations (like exhaustion) with seeking practical antidotes.

- Mindfulness can help you investigate what’s happening in your body and mind before rushing to fix it.

- The HALT acronym (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) is a useful diagnostic tool to pause and assess your state before reacting.

💤 Practical Antidotes for Exhaustion

- Micro-naps: Even a brief moment of sleep consciousness can be restorative. Jay suggests pretending to meditate as a way to sneak in micro-naps during the day.

- Brain machines: Devices like the Mindplace Kasina use light and sound to help regulate brain activity, offering relaxation, focus, or energy boosts.

- Screen hygiene: Practicing mindfulness when tempted to overuse screens can create space to make healthier choices, like avoiding devices before bed.

🌍 The Role of Social and Technological Factors

- Chronic exhaustion is often exacerbated by societal conditions, such as economic pressures and the demands of modern capitalism.

- Tech companies exploit our Stone Age brains, hijacking instincts like pattern recognition for profit. Mindfulness can help counteract this by creating awareness of these dynamics.

- Jay encourages listeners to balance self-care with a broader critique of systemic issues that contribute to widespread fatigue.

🛑 Letting Go of Nap Shame

- Jay debunks the stigma around napping, calling it pure garbage. Many cultures structure their days around rest, and naps can be a vital tool for managing energy.

- He advocates for embracing unconventional tools, like soundscape apps or brain machines, without guilt or self-judgment.