#959 - Underoath - The Hidden Struggles Of Mental Health In Music

Overview

Aaron Gillespie and Tim McTague from Underoath delve into the hidden struggles of life as rockstars, exploring the toll of relentless touring, the complexities of fame, and the emotional cost of pursuing artistic success. They reflect on the sacrifices made for their craft, the challenges of maintaining relationships, and the pursuit of contentment amidst the chaos of the music industry.

Notable Quotes

- Touring is beautiful, but it can also dismantle you. Pretending it doesn’t is why so many are suffering in silence. – Chris Williamson, reading an essay on the mental toll of touring.

- I’ve spent more time with my bandmates than my wife and kids. That does a number on my head sometimes. – Aaron Gillespie, on the guilt of being away from family.

- The universe keeps telling us: grab a cigar with your friend, don’t break anything, and stop trying to be Elon Musk. – Tim McTague, on the beauty of simplicity and contentment.

🎸 The Toll of Touring on Mental Health

- Aaron Gillespie and Tim McTague discuss the relentless pace of touring, with some years involving over 300 shows. This lifestyle creates a cycle of chronic displacement, emotional extremes, and a lack of grounding.

- Chris Williamson reads an essay highlighting how touring keeps artists in a constant state of fight-or-flight, with no decompression or support systems.

- Aaron opens up about his struggles with health anxiety, exacerbated by the pressures of touring, leading to frequent ER visits and eventually his temporary departure from the band.

💔 Relationships and the Velvet Prison of Fame

- Both guests reflect on the strain that life on the road places on relationships. Aaron shares the guilt of missing out on family life, while Tim discusses the challenge of balancing his role as a father and husband with his career.

- The intimacy between bandmates is described as unique, often deeper than what can be shared with partners, creating a complex dynamic.

- Chris notes the paradox of fame: it changes everyone around you, not necessarily you, and can isolate even the most successful individuals.

🎶 The Evolution of Creativity and Success

- The band reflects on the pressure to recreate the success of their breakout album, They’re Only Chasing Safety, while staying true to their artistic vision.

- Tim emphasizes the importance of creating music free from external influence, describing their process as us and inspiration.

- They discuss the rise of algorithm-driven music production, contrasting it with their commitment to authenticity and the challenges of navigating the modern music industry.

🧘 Aging Gracefully and Finding Contentment

- The conversation explores the challenges of aging as men in the public eye, with Chris noting the lack of cultural archetypes for men to age gracefully.

- Tim shares his philosophy of open-handedness, embracing impermanence and focusing on the beauty of enough.

- Aaron reflects on the lessons learned from his ex-father-in-law, a lifelong musician who found peace in letting go of his career.

🏔️ The Beauty of Simplicity

- Both guests highlight the grounding power of simplicity, whether it’s fishing, spending time in nature, or enjoying a quiet moment with loved ones.

- Tim contrasts the chaos of fame with the peace of small, meaningful moments, emphasizing that true fulfillment comes from contentment, not constant striving.

- The episode concludes with a reflection on the importance of being someone you’d buy a beer for, valuing authenticity and self-acceptance over external validation.