‘Modern Love’: Reneé Rapp on Blurring the Line Between Bestie and Lover

Overview

This episode explores the complexities of friendships, particularly within queer communities, through the lens of Reneé Rapp's personal experiences and her music. Rapp discusses the blurred boundaries between platonic and romantic relationships, the emotional depth of queer friendships, and the challenges of navigating friend breakups. She also reads the Modern Love essay This Is What Happens When Friends Fall in Love by Sammy Sass, which mirrors many of her own experiences.

Notable Quotes

- Friendships don't last forever, and that's okay. Some do, which is awesome, but a lot are like relationships — temporary and important for the time that they're there. - Reneé Rapp

- You can just be who you are, and whoever that is, that's who you are. - Reneé Rapp, quoting a friend during a heartfelt moment.

- Every single song on my album has to do with the deep homoerotica of friendships, whether those turned romantic or were just romantic without physical intimacy. - Reneé Rapp

🎭 Reneé Rapp’s Journey in Art and Friendship

- Rapp reflects on her role as Regina George in Mean Girls and how her real-life personality contrasts with the character’s.

- Her music, including the albums Snow Angel and Bite Me, delves into the intensity of relationships, both romantic and platonic.

- She highlights how her friendships inspire her songwriting, with tracks like That's So Funny addressing the complexities of betrayal and admiration within close bonds.

💔 The Pain and Growth of Friend Breakups

- Rapp shares a deeply personal story about a friendship that turned toxic, leading to a painful friend breakup.

- She describes the emotional toll of losing a close friend, likening it to the intensity of a romantic breakup.

- Despite the heartbreak, she emphasizes the importance of learning from these experiences and valuing the temporary yet impactful nature of some friendships.

🌈 The Unique Intimacy of Queer Friendships

- Rapp discusses how queer friendships often blur the lines between platonic and romantic, creating deep emotional connections.

- She notes that queer friendships can feel more intense and layered than those in heteronormative spaces, often involving admiration, love, and mutual support.

- The essay by Sammy Sass resonates with her experiences, particularly the challenges of defining and sustaining love within queer friendships.

🫂 Navigating Vulnerability and Misunderstandings

- Rapp recounts a recent moment of tension with a best friend, where both misinterpreted each other’s feelings due to unspoken needs.

- She highlights the importance of vulnerability in friendships, such as openly expressing love and asking for reassurance.

- Her friend group, a tight-knit circle of 15-17 people, serves as a source of safety and unconditional support, fostering an environment where authenticity thrives.

🎶 Friendship as a Creative Muse

- Rapp explains how her friendships inspire her music, with many songs exploring the romantic undertones of platonic relationships.

- She believes that pop music often overlooks the emotional depth of friendships, especially queer ones, and aims to fill that gap through her work.

- Her upcoming album Bite Me reflects these themes, celebrating the beauty and messiness of close connections.