#820: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Find Your Inner Voice, Set Strong Boundaries, and Live a Life of Radical Ease (Repost)

Overview

Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic, shares profound insights on self-compassion, creativity, boundaries, and the pursuit of a relaxed, meaningful life. The conversation explores her personal practices, the challenges of societal expectations, and the transformative power of mysticism and presence.

Notable Quotes

- Sometimes the only way you can find out that you had a cherished outcome is when you didn’t get it. – Elizabeth Gilbert, on hidden expectations in relationships.

- You don’t even know what you’re looking at. – Elizabeth Gilbert, on the mystery of life and the limits of human understanding.

- What if the entire purpose of my life was to hold that guy’s ladder for 45 minutes? – Elizabeth Gilbert, on the humility of purpose.

🌱 The Practice of Self-Compassion

- Gilbert emphasizes the importance of writing letters from love to oneself, a practice rooted in two-way prayer. She describes it as a way to access unconditional love and counteract the inner critic.

- She encourages starting these letters with an endearment, such as my love or my little one, to foster self-kindness.

- For those skeptical of the spiritual aspect, she suggests reframing it as simply accessing the kindest voice within oneself.

🛑 Boundaries and Saying No

- Gilbert discusses the necessity of setting boundaries to protect one’s peace, even with family. She shares examples of stepping away from toxic relationships and declining societal expectations, such as attending stressful holiday gatherings.

- She highlights the importance of prioritizing solitude and self-care, noting that not everyone is entitled to access your energy.

- Rachel Cargill’s radical approach to boundaries—blocking even close family members if necessary—serves as an example of extreme self-preservation.

✨ Mysticism and the Relaxed Woman

- Gilbert identifies mysticism as a key to relaxation, describing it as connecting with a higher presence that reassures her of life’s mysteries and her limited control.

- She contrasts the societal expectation of women to be fierce and resilient with the revolutionary concept of being a relaxed woman.

- Relaxation, she argues, enhances effectiveness in life’s challenges and allows for deeper creativity and presence.

🎨 Creativity and Purpose

- Gilbert views creativity as a joyful, meditative process where time dissolves. She advises sticking with creative projects despite distractions from shiny new ideas.

- She challenges the societal obsession with purpose, suggesting that presence and small, meaningful acts—like holding a stranger’s ladder—can be just as significant as grand achievements.

- Her approach to projects involves rigorous discernment, treating ideas as proposals that must prove their worth before she commits.

📬 The Power of Community and Connection

- Gilbert’s Substack newsletter, Letters from Love, serves as a platform for fostering kindness and self-compassion. Subscribers share their own letters, creating a supportive community.

- She highlights the transformative power of hearing diverse voices, from children to artists, as they explore their own inner dialogues with love.

- The newsletter is her way of moving away from the toxicity of social media while maintaining meaningful connections.