#1014 - Dr Marc Brackett - The Life-Changing Skill of Emotional Regulation

Overview

This episode explores the concept of emotional intelligence and regulation with Dr. Marc Brackett, a leading expert in the field and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. The discussion delves into why many people struggle to identify and manage their emotions, the importance of emotional education, and practical strategies for developing emotional intelligence. Dr. Brackett introduces his RULER framework and shares insights on how emotions can be harnessed as tools for personal growth, better relationships, and professional success.

Notable Quotes

- You have to name it to tame it. You've got to label it to regulate it. – Dr. Marc Brackett, on the importance of identifying emotions to manage them effectively.

- Denying or suppressing your emotions is still giving them a lot of power over you. – Chris Williamson, on the misconception that ignoring emotions equates to strength.

- Emotion regulation should actually be the new definition of success. – Dr. Marc Brackett, on the role of emotional intelligence in achieving personal and professional goals.

🧠 Emotional Intelligence and the RULER Framework

- Emotional intelligence is defined as using emotions wisely to achieve personal and professional goals.

- Dr. Brackett introduces the RULER framework, which includes:

- Recognizing emotions in oneself and others.

- Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions.

- Labeling emotions accurately.

- Expressing emotions appropriately across contexts.

- Regulating emotions effectively.

- Emotional intelligence is a skill set that can be developed and applied to improve decision-making, relationships, and overall well-being.

🌈 The Power of Emotional Vocabulary

- Only 1 in 5 adults can name more than three emotions they feel regularly, highlighting the lack of emotional education.

- Differentiating between emotions like anger and disappointment or anxiety and stress is crucial for effective regulation.

- Building a robust emotional vocabulary helps individuals better understand and manage their feelings.

🔥 Emotional Regulation as a Key to Success

- Emotional regulation involves strategies to prevent, reduce, initiate, maintain, or enhance emotions. Dr. Brackett introduces the PRIME framework:

- Prevent unwanted emotions by preparing in advance.

- Reduce emotions in the moment through techniques like deep breathing.

- Initiate emotions that align with goals, such as creating an inspiring atmosphere in a meeting.

- Maintain positive emotional states.

- Enhance emotions to amplify positive experiences.

- Emotional regulation is not about suppression but about using emotions as tools to navigate challenges and achieve goals.

🛠️ Practical Strategies for Emotional Growth

- Dr. Brackett emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion in emotional regulation.

- Strategies include mindfulness, reframing negative thoughts, seeking social support, and practicing gratitude.

- The How We Feel app, co-created by Dr. Brackett, helps users track and understand their emotions through a Mood Meter, offering 144 descriptive words and strategies for emotional regulation.

💔 Addressing Shame and Sensitivity

- Shame is categorized as a self-conscious emotion often imposed by others through gaslighting, leading individuals to internalize feelings of unworthiness.

- Highly sensitive individuals may feel emotions more deeply, which can be both a strength and a challenge. Dr. Brackett emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and regulation for these individuals.

- Sensitivity should not be seen as a weakness but as a strength that enables deeper connections and emotional insight.

🌟 The Role of Emotional Education

- Emotional education is crucial but often neglected in schools and workplaces. Dr. Brackett advocates for teaching emotional skills from a young age to foster healthier, more resilient individuals.

- Programs like RULER, implemented in over 5,000 schools, aim to create environments where children can learn to identify, express, and regulate their emotions.

- Emotional intelligence is not innate; it is a skill that can be learned and practiced throughout life.