Mandaborian And Goku - This Movie Is Utterly Pointless

Overview

This scathing critique dissects the latest Star Wars movie, The Mandalorian and Grogu, describing it as a creatively bankrupt, uninspired, and ultimately pointless addition to the franchise. The reviewer highlights its lack of ambition, poor storytelling, and apathetic execution, arguing that it fails to justify its existence as a feature film.

Notable Quotes

- If it was a meal, it would be a bowl of lukewarm tap water.

- This is a film that feels terrified of the franchise it's part of.

- A movie made out of obligation rather than desire, telling a story nobody was interested in.

🎥 The Plot: A Fetch Quest Gone Wrong

- The movie's plot is described as a stretched-out TV episode, revolving around a basic fetch quest: rescuing a kidnapped gladiator (Roa) to gain information about a warlord (Janu Coin).

- The reviewer criticizes the nonsensical logic of the story, such as Roa willingly staying in captivity because he enjoys fighting in the pits.

- Coincidentally, the kidnapper turns out to be the very warlord they were hunting, a twist deemed lazy and overly convenient.

- The second half of the film involves a rescue mission and a chaotic palace attack, which the reviewer finds equally uninspired and predictable.

🛑 Lack of Ambition and World-Building

- The movie is accused of being terrified of its own franchise, avoiding any meaningful connection to the broader Star Wars universe.

- There’s no attempt to expand the world, introduce overarching conflicts, or hint at galaxy-wide events.

- The absence of nostalgic callbacks (e.g., no CGI Luke Skywalker or Millennium Falcon) is noted, but the reviewer argues that the film fails to stand on its own merits.

🎭 Performances and Direction: Apathy on Display

- Pedro Pascal and Sigourney Weaver are singled out for their lackluster performances, with Pascal described as bored and checked out and Weaver phoning it in.

- The direction is labeled as sterile and uninspired, with the reviewer suggesting it could have been done by AI.

💸 Corporate Slop and Franchise Fatigue

- The film is criticized as safe corporatized slop content, created out of obligation rather than passion.

- The reviewer laments the lack of creativity and risk-taking, calling it a damp squib that will be quickly forgotten.

- The critique ends on a pessimistic note about the future of Star Wars under its current leadership, expressing doubt about the franchise's creative direction.