#1021 - Louise Perry & Mary Harrington - The Performative Male Epidemic

Overview

This episode dives into the complexities of modern relationships, exploring why young people are having less sex, the rise of performative masculinity, shifting gender dynamics, and the societal impact of evolving cultural norms. Louise Perry and Mary Harrington provide sharp insights into how societal changes, technology, and cultural expectations are reshaping intimacy, gender roles, and human connection.

Notable Quotes

- The mob, as a collective entity, is a very female phenomenon. - Mary Harrington, on the emotional and memetic nature of collective social movements.

- Competence is hot, but posting physique is girly. - Mary Harrington, critiquing performative masculinity.

- You are not enough people. - Louise Perry, paraphrasing Kurt Vonnegut on the unrealistic social expectations placed on modern relationships.

🛑 The Decline in Sexual Activity

- Americans are having less sex than ever, with only 37% of adults engaging in weekly sex, down from 55% in 1990.

- Mary Harrington and Louise Perry discuss how this trend splits between partnered and unpartnered individuals, with casual sex culture contributing to fewer overall encounters.

- Factors like smartphone addiction, obesity, and societal shifts in intimacy are highlighted as potential causes.

- The panel debates whether cultural modernity and limbic capitalism (hacking primal drives for profit) are driving a structural sterility in society.

📱 The Impact of Technology on Relationships

- Smartphones and social media are blamed for reducing intimacy and fertility rates, with Louise Perry noting that high smartphone usage correlates with declining birth rates globally.

- Parasocial relationships, like those with celebrities, are discussed as substitutes for real-life connections, with Mary Harrington suggesting they distort human behavior and priorities.

- The group critiques how technology replaces traditional social structures, such as family and community, with artificial, often isolating alternatives.

👨‍🦰 The Performative Male and Gender Dynamics

- The performative male archetype is dissected—a man who adopts a soft, hyper-feminized aesthetic (e.g., tote bags, matcha lattes) while signaling progressive values.

- Mary Harrington critiques this as a sneaky mating strategy, while Louise Perry connects it to post-MeToo anxieties about male behavior.

- The rise of hyper-masculine male-to-male transsexuals (men overly devoted to projecting traditional masculinity) is discussed as a reactionary trend.

- Both archetypes are seen as failing to address what women truly desire in long-term partners: competence, confidence, and authenticity.

👩‍👧 Women, Feminism, and Shifting Political Alignments

- The panel explores how women are increasingly turning to right-wing ideologies, driven by concerns over safety, motherhood, and cultural preservation.

- Louise Perry highlights how maternal instincts are being redirected from abstract causes (e.g., refugees) to protecting literal children, particularly among working-class women.

- The discussion touches on the historical role of women in enforcing conservative norms and how modern movements like Posey Parker's gender-critical activism reflect this shift.

🍽️ The Breakdown of Social Scaffolding

- Traditional ways of meeting partners, such as dinner parties and community setups, are disappearing due to urbanization, smaller homes, and dual-income households.

- Mary Harrington emphasizes the importance of offline mentorship and intergenerational networks for forming virtuous men and fostering healthy relationships.

- The decline in social infrastructure is linked to the rise of tech-based solutions like dating apps and reputation-tracking platforms, which often fail to replicate the trust and accountability of real-world communities.