How To Get Unstuck

Overview

This episode delves into the concept of stuckness, exploring its emotional, intellectual, and nervous system roots. The hosts discuss how childhood patterns shape feelings of being stuck in adulthood and offer practical strategies to move through these blockages. They emphasize the importance of reframing stuckness, embracing uncertainty, and processing emotions like anger and fear to regain freedom and vitality.

Notable Quotes

- The thing about the person who was stuck and feeling trapped is typically any kind of resistance makes it more and more and more stuck. — Joe Hudson

- Stuckness is putting pressure on yourself. And if you are trying to resist the stuckness, you're adding more pressure. — Brett Kistler

- The only thing they were ever stuck with was their thoughts. — Joe Hudson

🧠 Understanding Stuckness

- Joe Hudson defines stuckness as an emotional experience rather than a reality. For example, we are stuck with gravity but don’t feel oppressed by it.

- Two types of stuckness are identified:

- Problem-solving stuckness: Feeling unable to reach a goal.

- Trapped stuckness: Feeling oppressed or unable to escape a situation.

- Childhood no-win scenarios, such as being unable to please caregivers, often create patterns of feeling trapped in adulthood.

🔥 The Role of Anger and Fear

- Stuckness often stems from repressed anger and fear.

- Anger arises from feeling oppressed, while fear is tied to uncertainty and survival instincts.

- Moving anger is a key step to breaking free. This can involve expressing anger safely (e.g., yelling, hitting a pillow) to reconnect with self-protection and boundaries.

- Fear can be processed through physical shaking or group support, mimicking how animals release trauma.

🌀 Embracing the Unknown

- Stuckness can be reframed as resistance to uncertainty.

- Joe highlights the importance of liminal space—a period of not knowing—as critical for breakthroughs. For example, artists and mathematicians often achieve epiphanies after periods of stillness and contemplation.

- Trying to escape stuckness too quickly can delay insights. Instead, relaxing into the unknown accelerates integration and clarity.

💡 Intellectual Reframing

- Stuckness is often rooted in avoiding emotional states like rejection or failure. Ironically, this avoidance leads to self-attack and self-oppression.

- Recognizing that stuckness is a mental construct can help dissolve it. For instance, someone feeling stuck in a job can realize they are free to leave but fear the consequences.

- Joe emphasizes that the mind creates the illusion of being trapped, but freedom lies in shifting perspective.

🧘 Nervous System and Emotional Release

- The nervous system plays a key role in stuckness. Resistance to the freeze response only deepens it.

- Techniques to release stuckness include:

- Doubling down on the freeze response to exhaust it.

- Moving emotions like anger and fear in safe, supportive environments.

- Recognizing that stuckness is a learned survival strategy from childhood, no longer necessary in adulthood.

- Brett shares a personal story of overcoming fear while climbing, illustrating how movement and acceptance of risk can dissolve stuckness.