'The Interview': Jen Hatmaker's Life Exploded in Middle Age. So She Built a Better One.

Overview

Jen Hatmaker, a former evangelical influencer, reflects on her journey of personal and spiritual transformation after two seismic life events: her public break with conservative evangelicalism and her divorce following her husband's infidelity. Through these experiences, she explores themes of identity, faith, resilience, and rebuilding a life on her own terms.

Notable Quotes

- I always think about that night as there was my life before that moment at 2:30 a.m., and then there's my life after. – Jen Hatmaker, on discovering her husband's infidelity.

- I’m still a big fan of Jesus. I just don’t like so many of his folks. – Jen Hatmaker, on her complicated relationship with organized religion.

- Women are not permanently defined by the men who leave them. – Jen Hatmaker, on resilience after divorce.

🌟 The Rise and Fall of an Evangelical Star

- Hatmaker built her career as a Christian women's influencer, thriving in a subculture that valued adherence to traditional doctrines while embracing humor and relatability.

- Her public shift toward progressive stances, including LGBTQIA+ affirmation and anti-Trump views, led to a dramatic fallout in 2016. She lost her publisher, speaking engagements, and half her audience overnight.

- Despite the backlash, she found a new community of women questioning the same doctrines she had left behind.

💔 The Collapse of a Marriage

- Hatmaker discovered her husband’s infidelity in 2020, describing it as the most shocking moment of her life. She later realized their marriage had long-standing issues masked by their public image as a perfect pastoral couple.

- The divorce became public after a journalist exposed it, leading to scrutiny and blame from the evangelical community, which often framed her as the cause.

- She reflects on the pressures of codependency in her marriage, where she felt responsible for managing her husband’s behavior and others’ perceptions of him.

🛠️ Rebuilding After Loss

- Hatmaker describes the process of becoming independent after decades of marriage, learning to manage her finances, and navigating life alone for the first time since her teenage years.

- She emphasizes the empowerment of women who rebuild their lives after devastating losses, stating that recovery and flourishing are possible.

- While acknowledging the lingering pain and cracks left by divorce, she finds joy in her newfound autonomy and self-awareness.

⛪ Faith Beyond the Church

- Though she no longer attends church, Hatmaker maintains a deep connection to her Christian faith, which she describes as existing beautifully outside the confines of organized religion.

- Critics accuse her of a salad bar approach to faith, but she counters that her beliefs remain central to her life, even as she discards harmful dogmas.

- She grapples with maintaining relationships with loved ones still entrenched in the evangelical community, navigating ideological divides with care.

👩‍🎤 Gender Roles and Sexual Identity

- Hatmaker critiques the rigid gender roles she once upheld, acknowledging her complicity in perpetuating them. She now advocates for a more expansive view of women’s roles and autonomy.

- Post-divorce, she reflects on her evolving understanding of sexuality, shaped by her departure from purity culture and her growth as an independent adult.

- She humorously recounts her brief, tearful foray into dating apps, describing her journey as a sexual renaissance rooted in self-awareness and maturity.