3 Simple Ways to Build Stronger Relationships at Work | Alyssa Birnbaum | TED

Overview

Psychologist Alyssa Birnbaum explores the critical role of connection in the workplace, emphasizing its impact on engagement, burnout, and overall job satisfaction. Drawing from her personal experiences and research, she shares actionable strategies to foster meaningful relationships, even in remote work settings.

Notable Quotes

- Work is full of real, flesh-and-bone people who want to feel connected and do their best work when they feel like they’re part of something bigger than themselves. – Alyssa Birnbaum

- Burnout doesn’t just come from too much work; it also stems from feeling disrespected, unsupported, and disconnected from colleagues. – Alyssa Birnbaum

- Expand, overlap, and care — these are the keys to building stronger connections, but they only work if done authentically. – Alyssa Birnbaum

🌟 The Importance of Connection in Combating Burnout

- Burnout isn’t solely caused by overwork; disconnection, disrespect, and lack of support are significant contributors.

- Feeling engaged at work is tied to a sense of community and meaningful relationships.

- The pandemic highlighted the deep impact of isolation, but loneliness in the workplace had been rising even before.

📊 Research on High-Quality Connections

- High-quality connections, even brief ones, boost engagement and energy.

- The number or duration of interactions doesn’t matter as much as their quality.

- Video calls with cameras on can foster connections comparable to in-person interactions, while audio-only communication results in lower-quality connections.

- Burnout significantly hinders the ability to form meaningful connections, as it often leads to withdrawal.

💡 Practical Strategies for Building Relationships

1. Expand:

- Use open-ended, expansive questions to encourage deeper conversations (e.g., “What was the highlight of your weekend?”).

- Share more about yourself when answering questions to invite reciprocity.

2. Overlap:

- Find commonalities with colleagues, whether it’s shared interests or experiences.

- Use visual cues (e.g., Zoom backgrounds) to spark conversations and uncover shared interests.

3. Care:

- Show genuine interest by actively listening, asking follow-up questions, and being fully present in conversations.

- Authenticity is crucial; people can sense when interactions are insincere.

👩‍💼 Leadership’s Role in Fostering Connection

- Leaders set the tone for workplace relationships. Their behavior influences how teams prioritize connection.

- Remote leaders must be intentional about creating opportunities for bonding, such as:

- Starting meetings with casual chit-chat.

- Organizing virtual lunches or team-building activities.

- Using employee feedback tools to understand and address team needs.

- Occasional in-person meetings can help solidify relationships in hybrid or remote teams.

🏢 Making Work More Human

- With a third of life spent at work, fostering connection can transform workplaces from sources of stress to spaces of engagement and fulfillment.

- By prioritizing connection, organizations can create environments where employees feel valued, heard, and motivated.