Starfleet Academy - This Show Is Pure Torture

Overview

This episode delivers a scathing critique of Star Trek: Starfleet Academy, dissecting its narrative flaws, character inconsistencies, and perceived departure from the core values of the Star Trek franchise. The host humorously laments the show's reliance on modern tropes, lack of logic, and its failure to resonate with audiences.

Notable Quotes

- Oh, Star Trek, my old friend. What have they done to you? – Reflecting on the franchise's perceived decline.

- This show is to logic and common sense what Kathleen Kennedy is to self-reflection and personal accountability. – On the lack of coherence in the show's storytelling.

- The first episode was beaten in live viewers by a plastic action figure sitting in a chair. That’s my boy Gary. – Highlighting the show's poor reception with biting humor.

🎥 The Plot and Its Contrivances

- The story is set a thousand years after the original series, following the collapse of the Federation due to The Burn, a concept criticized as derivative of Warhammer 40k.

- The protagonist, Caleb, is a rebellious character with a troubled past, inexplicably recruited into Starfleet Academy despite his criminal history.

- The host questions the logic of training cadets aboard a starship before they even begin their Academy education.

- The episode's climax involves a nonsensical confrontation with Paul Giamati's character, riddled with plot holes and implausible resolutions.

🧑‍🚀 Character Critiques

- Caleb is described as a stereotypical moody hunk with a heart of gold, while other characters are dismissed as shallow archetypes.

- The cast includes a body-positive hologram with learning disabilities, a tough-talking girl boss, and a Klingon who has abandoned his warrior roots for birdwatching, all of which are mocked as pandering and unconvincing.

- The host laments the lack of depth and charisma in the characters, contrasting them with the nuanced portrayals of earlier Star Trek series.

🛠️ Production and Aesthetic Failures

- The sets are criticized for being simultaneously garish and lifeless, failing to evoke the futuristic wonder of classic Star Trek.

- Dialogue is described as chirpy, quippy Joss Whedon-style, undermining any attempt at serious storytelling.

- The host derides the show's overuse of modern identity politics, claiming it detracts from the franchise's original focus on exploration and innovation.

📉 The Decline of the Franchise

- The host argues that Star Trek has been in decline for years, citing previous series like Discovery and Picard as evidence of the brand's erosion.

- Paramount's persistence in producing new Star Trek content is likened to a gambler chasing losses, with the show's poor viewership numbers reinforcing this analogy.

- The episode ends with a plea for the franchise to be laid to rest, asserting that its legacy has been irreparably damaged.