Alien Earth - This Show Is The Real Monster

Overview

This scathing critique dissects Alien Earth, a Disney-produced addition to the Alien franchise, highlighting its narrative failures, illogical character decisions, and the perceived degradation of the franchise's legacy. The review explores how the show mishandles its premise, characters, and iconic elements, ultimately branding it as a soulless product of corporate exploitation.

Notable Quotes

- Every time you think the show's reached rock bottom and can't possibly get any worse, it finds a new way to Ryan Johnson the living [__] out of your expectations. - The Critical Drinker, on the show's consistent ability to disappoint.

- This show isn't just an insult to the franchise. It is a crime against common sense and human decency. - The Critical Drinker, summarizing his disdain for the series.

- The xenomorph has gone from terrifying to completely laughable. Why would you do this to a poor xenomorph? - The Critical Drinker, lamenting the mishandling of the franchise's iconic monster.

🛠️ The Writing and Plot Contrivances

- The show is criticized for its reliance on plot conveniences and contrivances, with characters making irrational decisions to force the story forward.

- The Critical Drinker mocks the child prodigy character, Boy Cavalere, as an example of poor writing, calling him a retardy genius whose actions defy logic.

- The premise of downloading human consciousness into android bodies is introduced but never meaningfully explored, leaving its philosophical and moral implications untouched.

🤦‍♂️ Illogical Character Decisions

- Characters are described as mentally deficient, consistently making the worst possible choices in high-stakes situations.

- Examples include leaving dangerous alien specimens unguarded, sending untrained androids on critical missions, and failing to anticipate obvious threats.

- The flashback episode, intended to mimic the original Alien, is derided for showcasing a crew that loses to the xenomorph despite having every advantage.

👾 Mishandling the Xenomorph

- The xenomorph, once a symbol of terror, is reduced to a guard dog that forms an inexplicable bond with the protagonist, Wendy.

- The decision to shoot the xenomorph in broad daylight is criticized for stripping it of its mystique and making it look like a guy in a clumsy rubber suit.

- The show undermines the xenomorph's iconic status by portraying it as something that can be reasoned with, contradicting its established nature.

🎥 Franchise Legacy and Corporate Exploitation

- The show is accused of shamelessly mimicking the aesthetics of Ridley Scott's original Alien without capturing its intelligence or atmosphere.

- The final episode, titled The Real Monsters, is mocked for delivering a cliché message about human greed being the true villain.

- The Critical Drinker condemns the series as a product of corporate franchise strip-mining, emblematic of modern entertainment's worst tendencies.

🎨 Production Design as the Lone Bright Spot

- The production design is the only aspect of the show to receive praise, with The Critical Drinker acknowledging its visual fidelity to the Alien universe.

- However, this is overshadowed by the poor writing and direction, which fail to capitalize on the strong visual foundation.